Preparation for the Unknown

I've discovered the amazing is permanent
The energy is so loud, I don't' hear time birthing it
the clock ticks...and its just a matter of it all.
A matter of what has yet to fall may not ever matter at all.
How much time do you spend on prevention?
or preparation for what has yet to be mentioned?
I fantasize silently but my characters are screaming
I desire to be captivated but my freedom is feinding
Once you stop bleeding do you whimper or breathe in?
Do you dwell or keep dreamin?
When you fail does it all end?
Shed tears of affection now I'm only left with desire.
With every sentimental act I'm looking to be inspired.
With water I fought fire.
When down I only got higher.
Temporarily at least.
Mind floating aimlessly searching for release.
I believe my brain has gone off and lost me.
I can't see nor can I hear and the people keep screaming
but my hands won't reach far enough.
And my skin is thick but my heart ain't quite as tough
I look around to see no one on my plane
and I'm trying to convince myself that I'm insane
Cause they say crazy people don't know that they're crazy.
And it's been like this since the day I gave up my unborn baby
and I could keep going until the sun rises and sets for the last time.
But I figure no one really listens until it's your last line.

But forget about me...
Who are you?
...and why am I so attached?
not quite sure how to react..
i can feel my pussy pulsating through my back
Spastic rhythms have me following your tracks
I'm hoping I'm strong enough not to play the victim
But your kisses taste of liquor and I yearn to be sickened.
drunk thoughts think not that they are drunk...
And when i say i love you I'm looking to be fucked
Ram me with a truck
and it still wouldn't amount to the emotion you have sucked
from my body from my spirit from my being,
from Me
Yet I chase you like the Sun chases the waters at Sea.
Waves crashing on top of each other like bodies in a cemetery
Yet we continue to shoot as if we are considering using street pavements as frames
Holding moments wrapped in a lifetime we await the bursting of flames
Just a bunch of lames.
A bunch of fucking lames and we all think we're the only ones who feel this way
Like... don't nobody get me..
since yesterday and....
I'm so different
I'm unique
I dress like Rihanna can you sense my mystique?
Noooo Bitch!
I sense insecurity running through the veins in your eyelids
and every time you blink
I get a taste of your reality.
Eyes closed you become vulnerable.
Tears releasing bits of your totality
Your cries are no longer audible.
I oughta know..
I fight caring what they think with every passing minute
This hardcore exterior is occasionally a gimmick
The game falls within it
Who the fuck are we aiming to please
When the casket shuts who's going to be in it with me?
Under the influence of bird calls and billboards
mind painfully expanding cause I'm not sure which one to feel for
city life claims me while i deal more dreams then i live for
producing thoughts conceived by pastors and street whores,
dancers and please more...
coke in a line cause my brain's sore
reality constantly addressing me with what society stores
filling my pores and reaching for core
but it never makes it,
maybe I'm looking for more.

Did I fail to mention this is not the world we prepared for?

-SydniMichael