Bluffing Heart

You are everything I want... excluding... in reach...
You are art... and music and... originality...
You are man... and you are powerful, you are the other half of me...
Or so I'd like for you to be...
You are nasty and stimulate my mental, sexually
And although I've never felt your dick inside of me
it's my favorite thing to play with when my fingers rub on me
Ive watched my being lose you on more than one occasion..
but it seems to get worse with every year that I'm facing...
not existing in your day to day...
Only hearing what you have to say..
but failing to see what your visual places on display.
Why are you so far?!?!
I will be the first to say this is unfair.
No one's eyes deserve your stare...
Yet you hand it off to the closest companion
She's only perfect for you within convenience
i mean this..
I fiend this...
and would do anything to go beyond the dream of this.
I lean to kiss
taste air as sweet as summer mist
but it's only my imagination.
our lives based off my sole creations
and nothing hurts more than the realization
that...
I have fallen in love for something that will never be...
"we."
Now I am angry...
I hate you for your smooth exterior
and soft insides.
gushy and tide high...
waves crashing when eyes rise..
to meet mine...
I've cried... and hopefully it's for the last time.
i can't make you care although I've tried
and every time u mention her, my heart dies.
tell me you love me but it almost means nothing.
if i can't wake up to you then my heart's only bluffing
tricking not treating
leading then fleeting...
this pain extends much further than the initial beating..
I am in love with you
with who you are...
with who you ain't
and watching you from a distance is something that I cain't...
I find it unhealthy, feeling this strong...
you're making me sick.
something so beautiful should not exist
...Why are you so far?

-SydniMichael