Yet I Preach.

I feel like this poem might be more effective if I read it to you rather than you reading it yourself. *shrugs* I dunno..... if I ever get the balls to perform it at the poetry lounge I suppose we'll find out then.

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen....
Nobody knows my sorrow..."
I preach positivity like the sun preaches daylight.
They tell me it sounds good and all
"but you ain't neva lived a day in my life."
You know I can't debate that...
Cause I run on my own track.
But when I give them a chance
to walk in my shoes, they try em on...
but before the strings are tied...
they're givin em right back.
.. Now what you call that?
I preach positivity like empty bellies preach hunger
And when the world is screaming fear...
I'm waiting for what comes after the thunder
Cause lightening ain't frightening
to someone who's expecting a soon enough trip
to down under.
It's like I've been waiting to die
I be looking around...
realizing I'm still around and I wonder.
Yet..
I preach positivity like...
the day after an abortion preaches regret.
Sometimes I want him to cum in me
just to see if God still finds me worthy
of getting pregnant.
See.. but I would keep it this time..
cause every time I see a baby with hazel eyes
I think.. ain't no way she would've been
cuter than mine.
I even gave her a name.
I called her Kennedy Jane...
and now she's something like my alter ego..
yea.. I know it sounds a little insane..
but Fuck it.. she lives in me.
So...
I preach positivity like...
the video cameras in hood liquor stores preach...
"BUSTED!"
And my father was the only man I had ever trusted
Til I grew up and found out
that when I was younger...
It was after my older sister that he lusted...
Ha... Fuck it.
I preach positivity like...
heroin preaches addiction...
And I do this because
out of the little bit of shit I've mentioned
From not one of those will I ever be granted intermission.
And you think Ima allow any one of them
to interrupt a bit of my free living..
you trippin.
Negativity.. it weighs heavy on your heart
It'll send you to hell faster than
a suicidal poisonous dart...
And I know I ain't nobody special
but I'm telling you, you better start.
They tell me I'm always smiling..
And when I feel my heart cry
I allow my head to get to whilin..
thoughts flood my mind of the endless possibilities
And I feel like I'm not thankful enough
for all the blessings my heavenly father
sent to me
The Universe is yours...
The Earth is your playground..
And you've got me fucked up
if you think ima sit around crying and complaining
before I get my ride on the merry go round.

-SydniMichael