Rolled Up Toaster

If only I could learn to keep all these emotions in check. Liquor doesn't do me the slightest bit of good. I'll tell you everything.... all of it. My dog died today. My grandfather died today as well... or possibly last night. Unfortunately for him he never knew me and I, him... so I don't have it in me to feel sorrow. Aside from the fact that death was never meant to be a negative thing. I did cry for my dog however. Seeing him there in the grass, behind the garage, as if to hide. Don't watch me die. I smiled a lot today...on this day of death. I also cried. Jealousy arose and maybe a tinge of anger but only after the pleasant and peaceful realizations. Disappointment attacked right before the forceful sweeps of accomplishment. I'm feeling so many things. I've got to gain some sort of control.

Fauck it.

-Syd