I do this sometimes

Because he speaks to me....through emotion. I just feel like... it's coming. "What? ... WHAT'S COMING?!!" they all scream in a rage. I have no specific answer to give. "Am I high?" Yea.... something like that... but not off anything that you smoke...eat...sniff...inject. This blog has no... direction. hehe. I miss an old friend of mine and have no way to get in contact with him. That's got me down a little bit. I ain't down tho! ...rawr.lol. He and I should've had sex back when we were talking. I was a good girl back then. It would've been great. lol. Now i'm horny and almost 5 months strong dick free and I don't think any nigga is worth my sex right now. There is this one guy I used to "talk to" His name is Josh. Mmm... Josh. lol. I'm ULTRA tempted to give him a call like "look.....fuck my brains out." But... I've learned discipline and will power in my sexual state of mind and I refuse to make that call. *shivers* Mm.... Josh. lmao. He's sexy.. what can I say? He's a thinker... and he's nasty. His body is ....amazing and his lips are soft like... uhm... hmm... some type of soft gummy filled thing.. I dunno. Eeesh and he gets all aggressive when we're in a heated sexual state. Tells me to shutup and... gets all rough n shit... aaah! lol. Let me stop. I'm getting all yummy over here. Shit.. you've gotta love a willing freaky intellectual. I wonder why I never took the next step with him. I wonder if we would've lasted as an "item." lol. ..who knows.

I'm listening to "I'm good" by the Clipse. This song puts me in such a mood. The beat fits so well with the lyrics. The vibe is insane. Yet Another feel good.... I'm GOOD! lol. A friend of mine reminded me of the vision board today. I need to get started on mine. Vision board... basically a board that will allow you to visualize daily, your goals in life. For example... u desire that new benz...well.. throw up a picture of it. U lookin to get ur body right by summer...well.. attach your face to Vida's body and throw up a pic of a beach. Get me? Yea... im about 2 get on that tonight. Everything.... well...damn near everything.. is a state of fucking MIND! GET YOUR MIND RIGHT. It's a process..... a long fucking process... one I've struggled with completing but.. it IS possible. I know we all struggle with it cause I see all you muhfuckas.... with your conformed beings and ignorant states....smh. I'm starting the movement of getting your mind right....call it... Right Mind Movement. rawr. or not... fuck yall if u aint with it. Be unhappy in your fresh clothes and fake smiles. lol. Im just hatin on niggas who got more money than me.... thats all..... psh. nah but really... Right Mind Movement... until I come up with something more creative :) hehe

I've been trying to write more freely lately. I think the writer's block i've been experiencing as of late comes from all the restrictions and boundaries i'm setting for myself and am afraid of crossing. But fuck all that boundary shit....I'm hopping over all lines. The poetry will come naturally in time. There's this poem i've been trying to finish for the longest and me forcing it....well... it's just not happening. So now i'm just going to random it out... let whatever knocks...flow right through.

FREE AS A BIRD! SINGLE AS A DOLLAR BILL! Hahahaah ask me if it feels good. ASK ME! AAAHh yes it feels soooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooooooood. I'm not "talking" ...."dating" ... NOTHING! I don't have to answer to anyone but my gotdamn self.. and my mom.. and God.. of course. but NO ONE ELSE! ...welll...unless i get pulled over by the pigs or something...but.... u know what the fuck I mean... NO ONE!!!!!! "and ooh I like it"

I think i'm done.... blabbering and shit.

I want some ice cream... but I'm going to say no to that. I've put on some pounds and I've gotta switch shit up a little. lol. Shall we take a run 2morrow? We shall. :)

...what about pinkberry?

....no?
lol.

ok.... no.

I aint got gas anyway.

Another thing 2 put on my vision board: a lifetime gas card . hahah

-SydniMichael