Ready Freddy

Never offer your heart to someone who eats hearts

who find heartmeat delicious

but not rare

who sucks the juices drop by drop

and bloody-chinned

grins like a God.

Never offer your heart

to a heart gravy lover.

Your stewed, overseasoned

heart consumed

he will sop up your grief with bread

and send it shuttling

from side to side

in his mouth

like bubblegum.

If you find yourself in love

with a person who eats hearts

these things

you must do:

Freeze your heart immediately,

Let him—next time he examines your chest—

find your heart cold, flinty and unappetizing.

Refrain from kissing

lest he in revenge

dampen the spark

in your soul.

Now, sail away to Africa

where holy women

await you on the shore—

long having practiced the art

of replacing hearts

with God and Song

-Alice Walker.

So... I never really know who reads my blogs... who ever REALLY pays attention...except for the "followers" maybe...if even them. The other day I got a message from my sister's girlfriend about a blog I wrote a few days ago titled "NUMB." she probably hit me with some of the BEST advice i've gotten from anyone about this situation yet. I almost broke down cause everything she wrote was sooo true. She kinda made me feel worthy... which is rare for me. She sent me the poem above and I've gotta say it hits home. So for anyone who's struggling with what I happen to be going through... read it over and over...i'm sure it'll speak to you in some way. I know it's inspirational for me. I told you guys i'd get some good advice out of posting my business on this shit lol. The love is appreciated... to know that someone cares enough to share their experiences or their opinion...feels good. Every time I get hurt... I usually build another layer to block off any emotion that i may possibly exude to the next guy. I realize that, that's not healthy... and it's ruining possible chances of something that could be beautiful with someone. Something she also told me was... "when you begin dating again, do it with an open heart and mind. one rule i always tried to keep was i'm not gonna let somebody who did not care enough about me wreck my future." -La

Ha! That's so real. I had never heard it that way before....definitely put it in a different perspective for me. Sooo.. i wuna say thanks to La cause she definitely lifted my spirits with that message :)

Anyway... my days are looking better. Skies are blue although it's raining and... i've come to the conclusion that NOTHING is impossible. I'm preparing myself for an interesting year. '2009' is everything I never expected so far. People keep coming at me with... "are you ready?.... i don't think you're ready .... do you think you're ready for this?" lmao.. well...my only answer for that is.... we didn't come into this world "ready." life is basically thrown at us... and it's our job to GET READY. soooo....i'll continue to smile cause I know God will never pass me anything I can't handle. The fucking END.

-SydniMichael