My neck has been throbbing for majority of the day which is obviously the cause of this headache approaching. Or is it? Better yet this headache could be the result of the millions of thoughts rioting in my brain. Being on my period makes this situation no better.
I'm emotional...
Everyday was different. Thursday.... then Friday.... after came Saturday....finally Sunday... so what happens Monday? I wish I knew. I wish I knew who or what to believe. I wish I didn't feel so used. But if I rewind the tape, I was the mastermind behind each plan. It was me.
Am I crazy or am I just taking these feelings to a place they have no desire to be. How do I stop? Did I make a wrong decision? This was all flipped around not too long ago. I was progressing... I was on top and no one could see me, but now.... im climbing up a pyramid with no stairs. The glass... it's usually half full but.... I see no water. I don't want to break down. Where is my strength, my drive, my motivation, my heart? I see everything but I am blind.
I look in the mirror and the reflection is unfamiliar.
Liberation liberation liberation liberation....
peace of .... mind.
my mind.... war.
lack of discipline.
search for love....
finding everything in between.
mistakes made....mistakes?
no regrets right? well.... i want to go back and erase those things i did.
those bad bad things. i don't believe in judgement... but i have sentenced myself to time in a very dark place.
walking towards the light... i turn the other way
wait.... go back!
i cant trust you... cause i don't trust me.
not good.
not good at all....
so.... we can go nowhere.... that's why we're still here.
cause im back there.
this is so scary.
-sydnimichael
1 comment:
Neither of us are so happy or so miserable as we think we are, the key is to stay engaged with life and hopes.
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