Neosporin

fuck it... call me a loser if you please.
since i've been off work [12:30] my ass has been at home all day on this friggyn computer. SO WHAT! lol... no, not so what. I need to remove myself from the premises and remind myself of what the outside taste like. :-)
but shit... its Wednesday.. not much 2 do. Thought about getting my car washed but decided not 2 after realizing that $10 would no longer be apart of my pocket account it would be apart of his... whoever "he" is. (u know.. the guy at the car wash)
psh. not my $10!
call me cheap.. i lust after the $$$cash$$$, the gouda, government, cheese, money, scrilla, cake, stacks, chips... etc. etc. :-D

On another note...
Morena... another blogger... got me thinking. (kinda wat bloggin is all about eh?)
---these dudes man, these guys who who hold our hearts and seduce us to where become vulnerable, non-clairvoyant, in love little WEAKLINGS! (cudnt think of a better word)
WHHHYYY?!?!?! this is why I have trust issues today. Sad 2 say im another one of those beezies who have been hurt and can now no longer trust the next guy. which REALLY REALLY sux cuz BOOOY do i want to trust this one. He's a sweetheart (to me at least) he's about his shit (and i mean in EVERY way possible *wink*) he likes me, we have fun 2gether. but i can't seem 2 bring myself to trusting him ONE bit. maybe it's cuz he has 2 many chica friends (friends that are girls) lol for u ignorant people. (and i dont mean ignorant to be rude i mean it for what it is .... NOT KNOWING) I mean i've been done pretty shady... like most of us have. It's understandable for me not to trust others right? This could be a big problem tho. I'm so afraid of taking the next step with him. How do you know when he's one of the good ones or if he's just another tear shed? I'm tired of trying, im tired of over analyzing, im tired of rackin my fucking brain tryin to figure out what he meant when he said "this" and when he said "that." but then again i cant see myself without him ( as of today)
i miss him by the hour.
I want him by the minute.
I need him by the...... FUCK THAT.... shit.. im SydniMichael.. i dont need any motha fuckin body!
lmao.
well... what can i say. I guess i gotta wait for the neosporin to kick in and heal all these scars across my heart. :::sigh:::
til then.... i say fuck em'

(dont be surprised if u get another blog from me in the nexx 5 minutes hehe.)
im bored SHIT!

I love music.... love music with me.

passion bloggumz ;-)