I'm gliding, tripping over potholes, falling into ditches, climbing over mountains, swimming across oceans, nearly drowning, but surviving.
this is me venting about me, about life, love, school, work, friends, spirituality, america, my world.
So i'm 19 and I have a pretty good job working with autistic children as a speech therapist assistant. Please do not call the children mentally retarded fore that is NOT the case. I take offense to that so keep the ignorant comments to yourselves. :-) thanks. Neway....my job is pretty rewarding, but frustrating as all get out. 2 year olds who haven't got a clue.... well they have a clue but their clue is our clue slightly altered lol. I have no intentions on making this my career. I'm an artistic, creative being who desires, sleeps, dreams, lives, MUSIC. whatever i end up doing in life, i pray it involves music. :-) "HOW DO I GET THERE?" is my fucking question!
and what exactly is it that im guna do with music? arrrrggghhh!!! it boggles my brain. A very good friend of mine really motivated me the other day. He told me one day i'm gonna get paid big bucks for the way that i express myself in my writings. (sweet huh?) I hope he's right... maybe i'll do some songwriting, as he suggested. Shit, i dunno. Thanks David, you have no idea how much that meant to me. Especially since i feel like im on the path 2 nowhere. lol.
Anyway... on to other issues.... something that's been tickling my mind lately religion/spirituality. Me personally, I don't believe in religion. I do most definitely believe in the higher power known as God. Talib Kweli said it well.....
"Every Sunday dressing up catching gossip at its worst Couldn't see the difference in the Baptist and the Catholic Church Caught up in the rapture of the first chapter and second verse If we all God's children then what's the word of the reverend worth Taught early that faith is blind like justice when you facing timeIf we all made in God's image then that means his face is mine Wait or it's that blasphemy it's logical it has to beIf I don't look like my father then the way I live is bastardly Naturally that's confusion to a young'n trying to follow Christ Taught that if you don't know Jesus then you lead a hollow life Never question the fact that Jesus was a Jew and not a Christian Or that Christianity was law according to politicians Who was King James? And why did he think it was so vital to remove chapters and make his own version of the Bible They say Hell is underground and Heaven is in the sky And they say that's where you go when you die but how they know?"
Exactly Talib.... how DO they know?
Shit's crazy.
I pray a lot because i'm in desperate need of guidance from my creator. I don't believe in religion so it's like.... what do I follow? what book do I go by? I'm never sure if the decisions i'm making are the right ones or if I'm just another sinner strolling around as if I'm on my way to the high gates of heaven when i'm really waiting for the escalator leading to Hell. (eww makes me skin crawl) I believe religion separates people. If you really think about it... it does. It's almost like ethnicity or race. People critiquing others because of what they believe in, what foods they eat, when they feel it's necessary to give up their bodies, who they should marry, who they pray to, etc. etc. There's soooo many different religions... which one is the right one? How are you so sure that Buddhism isn't the religion you should be living by as you're attending catholic mass or christian church every Sunday? Shit... half of these so called "Christians" aint really "Christians" in the first place. So much gossip goes on in the church... half of the women in church are there, hair fresh, nails done, for what??? for that good ol' "Christian" man! lmao. it's a joke. Church is a fashion show for the ol folx and a meeting date for the young ones. Why is it that I can't live morally correct and just be str8 after I die. lol. man! Life is such a hassel sometimes. I could honestly create a novel about how I feel about religion. I'm all for spirituality. I'll say it a thousand times!!! SPIRITUALITY WOOOOOO!!! lol i dont know what that was about but i enjoyed it. I feel that if you want 2 be happy and have peace of mind... you have to work towards it. PERIOD. it's just that simple. Treat others how you want to be treated. Pray for guidance to whoever it is that you believe in. BELIEVE. Think positive things and have faith and those things shall come to pass. IF you haven't read "The Secret" go read it, or go watch the movie. It's very inspiring. It's all about thinking and believing things into the universe. An excellent theory if I must say so my damn self.
Moving on....shit. fuck it... ill continue this later... i got shit 2 do...
;-)
i love music... so love music with me.
passion bloggumz...
2 be continued...
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